Ronnie Doesn't Know
by Blood Brandy
Summary: Sneaking to see his friends new job, Ronald Weasely makes a shocking discovery...along with about a thousand other people. Not for Ron fans, and Harry and Hermione don't come across too nice, either.


**_Disclaimer: Me no own Harry potter franchise, nor Eurotrip or anything derived from the two_**

Ronald Weasley stood in line for the quickly filling concert hall, the quickly filling _muggle_ concert hall. Why? He had come because his best friend's band, Green Lightning, was playing. A lot of people were upset when Harry Potter had chosen to go to the muggle lifestyle, especially Ron's sister Ginny, but Harry was happy with it, he'd gotten a normal job, even though with his money he didn't need it, he hung out muggles and started a little band with them, one that was 'discovered'. Ron and his girlfriend, Hermione, supported Harry, Hermione even ended up becoming the band's manager.

Although Ron was a bit annoyed that his girlfriend dedicated so much time to her job, his mum had told him it was just a phase and she would settle down soon enough.

Soon enough the lights went down and things kicked off, the band wasn't bad, in Ron's opinion. They weren't the Weird Sisters, and half the time Ron didn't understand what the lyrics were talking about, but the muggles seemed to like them, especially the robust blonde next to Ron (Who he swore gave him a little wink). The elektik guitar sounded cool, and Harry seemed pretty good at playing it, and surprisingly good at singing.

Who knew?

It almost seemed to go by too quickly, and after a song, the Harry said goodbye for the band, only for the crowd to start chanting "Encore!" The blonde next to him got Ron in on the chant too.

"I'm sorry, what?" Harry called into the mic, egging the crowd on.

"Well, I dunno, what about you guys?" Harry called out to his bandmates.

They nodded, and the drummer yelled something, but since he didn't have a mic, Ron couldn't hear it, but the others seemed to agree.

Harry smiled, "Well alright, you folks are in for a treat, this is a song we've been working on. A song I wrote about the most important person in my life, so what's say we bring her out here for this, huh?"

The crowd cheered, but Ron was silent with surprise. He guessed he shouldn't be, but he knew Ginny was going to be pissed. Sure, they'd been broken up for a long time, but both her and Molly seemed to think it was just a phase Harry needed to work through and he would be back with Ron's sister soon enough, but now it didn't seem to be true.

"Alright! You heard 'em," Harry called out to the side stage, "The welcome out, the smartest, sweetest, sexiest and outright freakiest babe you'll ever see, the love of my life, sorry ladies I'm taken…"

The crowd cheered as a girl came on stage, short skirt over torn jeans and trainers, tank top with a green lightning bolt on it, a fair whack of glow bracelets on each wrist, dressed in a way that, normally, Ron wouldn't really have been able to tell the difference between her and half the muggle birds at the concert, especially at this distance.

But he recognized that wild, bushy hair as she ran up and kissed Harry, getting whoops from the crowd before they parted.

"…Our beautiful manager, Hermione Granger."

Ron was stunned silent, but the crowd was not as the encore began with Harry and his guitar…

**Ronnie doesn't know that Hermione and me,  
Do it in my flat every Sunday.  
She tells him she's in church,**

**But she doesn't go  
Still she's on her knees and Ronnie doesn't know!**

**Oh~, Ronnie doesn't know!**  
**So Don't Tell Ronnie!**  
**Ronnie doesn't know!**  
**Ronnie doesn't kno~w!**  
**So Don't Tell Ronnie!**

Ron couldn't believe what he was watching as the crowd around him went wild, his girlfriend all over his best friend.

** 'Mione says she's out shopping,  
But she's under me and I'm not stopping...**

**_(For Nothin')_**

Hermione joined in, her arms wrapped around harry as she added the last line in with a husky voice Ron would have never associated with her before joining in the chorus.

**Because Ronnie doesn't know!  
Ronnie doesn't know!**

**Ronnie doesn't know!**

**Ronnie doesn't know!  
So don't tell Ronnie!  
Ronnie doesn't kno~~ow!  
Don't tell Ronnie!**

Letting the back-up guitar take over, Harry spun around, switching so he was behind Hermione, grinding into her, speaking softly into mic.

**I can't believe he's so trusting,  
While I'm right behind you thrusting.  
'Mione's got him on the phone,  
And she's trying not to moan.  
It's a three-way call and he knows nothing!**

Hermione echoed the last word before motioning the crowd to join.

**Ronnie doesn't know!**

**Ronnie doesn't know!**

**Ronnie doesn't know!  
So don't tell Ronnie!  
Ronnie doesn't know!**

**Ronnie doesn't know!**

**Ronnie doesn't know!**

**We'll put on a show!**  
**Everyone will go!**  
**Ronnie doesn't know!**

**Ronnie doesn't know!**

**Ronnie doesn't know! **

The pair got close to the mic, and each other, stage whispering as the music softened a bit.

_Hermione-_**The parkin' lot,**

_Harry-_**Why not?  
It's so cool when you're on top!**

_Hermione-_**His front lawn,**

_Harry-_**In the snow  
Life is so hard 'cause Ronnie doesn't know!**

**Ronnie doesn't know!**

Hermione pulled the mic closer, leaning forward like she was telling a secret.

**We did it on his birthday...**

The music picked back up, louder than before as the crowd joined in.

**Ronnie doesn't know!**

**Ronnie doesn't know!**

**Ronnie doesn't know!**

**Ronnie doesn't know!**

**Ronnie doesn't know!**  
**Ronnie won't know!**  
**Ronnie doesn't know!**  
**Ronnie's gotta know!**

_Hermione-_**Gotta tell Ronnie!  
**_Harry-_**Gotta tell him myself!  
Ronnie doesn't know! **

Ron watched Harry and Hermione bowed to the cheers of the crowd and chants of "Ronnie Doesn't Know". He was hurt, but moreover he was boiling mad, his mother's temper rising to the surface.

"Are you okay?" a voice next to him yelled over the crowd, it was the blonde. "You want to get out of here?"

Ron thought about for a second, he was in a relationship, emphasis on the '_was'_, but Hermione and Harry…

…Screw 'em.

"Sure, I'm Ron," He answered.

"I'm Daisy," as she smiled giddily, grabbing his hand and leading him through the crowd.

-Shortly after, Backstage-

"I guess he knows, then," Harry said as he finished a drink.

"If singing it in front of him and a ton of other people like that doesn't finally get the message across, he's even dumber than I believed possible, and we'll have to fuck on the Burrow kitchen table to get him to realize we're though," Hermione answered from a couch, "And I'll castrate him to keep him from messing up the gene pool."

"I wouldn't do that, you did see who he was leaving with, right?" Harry asked with a grin, which Hermione returned, "After all, Daisy would be mad if her new beau got injured, and we wouldn't want to upset my cousin when she already has troubles, what with her father's reaction to her new lifestyle."

"I suppose you have a point, at least you've been such a supportive cousin, with the magic alternatives to surgery," Hermione replied.

"And Petunia's been so supportive too." Harry added, "But enough about that, how about we have a bit of after show _relaxation_?"

Hermione jumped from the couch, and onto Harry. Soon, their activities could be heard from outside.

**A.N. Yeah... I'm not exactly proud of this, either, but I started it a year or two ago, found it while going through my files and figured, what the heck, let's finish it. It's kinda funny...isn't it?**


End file.
